I Just Loved My Family

I know that title is past tense which sounds as if I've loved them and am now done loving them, but it's quite the contrary.  Emily and Nick have boating safety tonight which means my Valentine, who sanded all day never even stopping for a lunch break or any break for that matter, drove the buckets of water over to the horses while the teenage daughter babysat for money, never got a shower, sucked down only one bowl of Hug and Kiss soup instead of his normal 2-3, didn't have time for crackers or Valentine cut-outs (another favorite), kept his promise to take all kids along for the ride to boating safety class and Fleet Farm.  I wanted to cut fabric and sew fabric and snip threads and iron seams, but instead I loved my family.  They scurried out the door leaving quite a mess behind at the supper table and in the porch and on the living room floor and anywhere messes can accrue.  It would've been so easy to mumble under my breath something about having to do everyone's jobs and not getting to do my thing, but it's Valentine's day so I did all the supper time jobs.  I'm not complaining!  I thought about the traditional wedding scripture reading  1 Corinthians 13: 4-7, which Amber read to us this morning before digging into the pancake breakfast Warren made for us. 

Love is patient, love is kind.  It is not jealous, it is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing, but rejoices with truth.  It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Clearing the table, loading the dishwasher, washing the leftover dishes, straightening the boots, putting away stray hats and mittens, placing the pillows on the couch just so and neatening the baby toddler toy area perfectly is an act of love for my family.  And I still have an hour and a half for sewing.  Life is good.

About Joseph

I asked the kids to each write a paragraph or two describing their relationship with Little J.  I thought it would be a nice testimonial about the gifts these lovely little ones with Down syndrome bring to the family.

Hi, my name is Amber.  I'm Joseph's sister.  He is so cute.  I love it when he smiles and giggles.  It is so funny.  He is just learning how to walk and stand.  I love him.

Amber is such a caring big sister to Joseph.  She happily practices her piano songs in a lower octave just so he can sit and play with her.

Book Review - The Year My Son and I Were Born

The Year My Son and I Were Born by Kathryn Soper

Tears and laughter. Happiness and Sadness. Despair and Triumph. I felt all these while reading, but now I'm drawing a blank. I read the book so fast and felt so many emotions, but how to sum it all up in a few paragraphs is making my brain work in overtime. Little J is quickly appoaching 1 year old and reading Soper's book was a wonderfully refreshing way to take a trip down memory lane. My experience was different than hers, of course. Yet the same in so many ways. Boys for both of us, Down syndrome diagnosis, NICU stay, feeding tube, breast pump, feelings of despair, feelings of intense love, strong desire to protect our babies from the world. The list goes on - a full year worth of shared experiences.

Many times while reading Soper's book tears would fill my eyes and usually roll down my cheeks. The kids would badger me about my crying, "Are you reading that sad Down syndrome book again?" "Why do you cry when you read books about Down syndrome?" Yeah, why was I crying again I asked myself. The book's not sad. I'm not sad. After a little self reflection, I realized I was crying because I had been there. I had experienced the intense feelings of anger and gratitude that came from people helping us during the early weeks of Little J's life when we were tethered to the NICU and clinic and newborn weight scale. I cry because I feel validated for feeling anger and selfishness and pity and love and happiness and protectiveness all at the same time. I cry because Mrs. Soper and I are survivors. Survivors of the Down syndrome lifestyle. The frequent Drs. appointments, physical therapy, audiology appointments, well meaning comments that sting, individualized family service plans, thoughts of our babies' dying. All part of the first year of life with a baby with Trisomy 21, an extra chromosome.

If, like me, you've experienced any thoughts that brought about guilt during your child's first year and have pressed on, this book will be a welcome read for you. Kathryn Soper articulates the process of coming to terms with her own feelings towards and about her son and his future in a way that is refreshingly honest and painfully real. Her subtle bits of humor were welcome as well. Because if you can't look back on your life and laugh a little...well, then all you'll do is cry.

On Star

Jokingly, my husband and I tease each other about having OnStar. Really, I don't have OnStar; I have a Honda van and I have a mechanical husband. He's my OnStar. I know he'd rather be doing so many other things than receive an OnStar type call from me, but you'd never guess it. Like last night. I left at 6:00, with four fully inflated tires, to meet some friends at a restaurant. L. is moving away because of her husband's job and we wanted to drink wine and indulge in low-cal desserts one last time with her. I turned off the expressway, only 3/4 mile to go. As I started to turn there was no denying I had a very flat tire. I pulled over assessed the situation. Indeed the driver's rear tire was down to the rim, a large piece of gravel had slashed and was still stuck in the tire. I could hear the air hissing out. I called my OnStar, figuring my evening out had been doomed or very postponed. Guess what he said. Just lock the doors and walk to your party, I'll take care of it. From his point of view, this must of been miserable. He loaded up four kids, changed a tire (first time for this van), tried to get it patched at 8:00 p.m., found out the slash was just too big to patch. He dropped off the van at the restaurant and then walked with four kids back to the truck and headed home. What a guy. OnStar has some tough competition.



*The night out was a blast. Tons of laughter, a few tears, lots of great stories.