Small Print Funnies

So we opened up our Bayou Classic Aluminum Stockpot today. Uncle D brought it for us so we could eat good, i.e. unhealthy, during this week's turkey hunt. Tonight we ate Nick's turkey. Oh was it good. Warren cut the breast meat into strips, breaded them with a flour, salt, pepper and chicken seasoning mixture and then deep fried them. Yum!! We did french fries and jalapeno bites, too. Potato salad, Heath Bar cookies, carrot sticks and chips covered the picnic table as well. What's so funny about all this? Back to when we opened the box and pulled out the instructions. This is the first warning, verbatim:

• Sober adult operation ONLY! Read and understand this manual before using the product. The use of alcohol, prescription or nonprescription drugs may impair your ability to properly assemble or safely operate appliance.
  

I found this funny because it's just a pot with a basket. Assembly included 3 screws. Really? The use of prescription drugs may impair your ability to use 3 screws to attach the handle to the basket? I'm sure there are surgeons who have taken the occasional antibiotic without impairing their ability to perform surgery. Anyway, I understand they are talking about more serious meds, but still it strikes me as very funny. After reading that I had to continue reading just in case something else caught my eye. And something did, again verbatim under Care and Use for Polished Aluminum Pots:

• Our motto is: "The uglier the pot, the better it cooks!"